I can’t wait till semester is over.. I think I can survive :S
(I synesthetically color coded the months according to the seasons of the southern hemisphere. If I were to use northern-hemispheric seasonal-color-coding, September would be gray, October would be a darker grey, and November+ would be dark as the bottom of that giant hole in Siberia.)
August. I enjoy getting my bones wet.
(I really have no idea where life will lead me in the comings months. It’s not that I have big plans or anything. But I need to find my voice and switch colleges. I just want to exist and not pay taxes and learn languages.)
I think it’s a good thing that I’m dreaming again, even if my dreams are dumb. In my dream I was taking a blind Asian girl through the museum where I volunteer, but instead of a service dog, she had a giant lion on a leash. I didn’t think much about it, so I patted the lion on its head, and suddenly remembered from my training that I’m never supposed to approach service animals. It was too late. The lion was sprinting into the galleries.
In the second part of the dream, I’m passing outside a church and they need someone to do the mass, so I volunteer but I don’t even know what to do. I try my best to say a couple things I remember from years ago, but I hear myself sounding so cheesy. It turns out all of the people in the church are Vietnamese and didn’t even understand me in the first place, so I just leave.
I need to stop taking naps at random hours. I had another awkward nightmare in which I am back in architecture studio from a year ago with the dreaded professor. Since I can’t control being there, I walk in, apologize for not showing up to class for 9 months, promise to start doing my projects, and take my seat. But then it hits me that it’s a new semester and I didn’t even pay for the class, which makes it more awkward.
We all go outside (one day we actually did so, to survey the hill outside the building, which was a tedious 2 hour process with classmates I hated), but it’s actually Gaza outside, not Georgia, USA, even though it looks like the Ukrainian countryside, or the Argentine countryside during autumn, and some 50 meters away there’s the Malaysian plane falling down, about to hit the ground. We make signs to the pilot to fly in circles, so as to pick up speed and regain control of the airplane. The plane makes one full circle around us and it starts to point up, but out of nowhere, three flocks of ducks fly by. The plane evades the first two, but the third group of ducks fly straight into the engines and the plane shakes a bit and flies through a leafless tree. It instantly blows up and a giant pixelated orange angel (or is it Icarus?) flies out of the flames.
my best literature professor vanished. she’s not listed on my schedule or the college website.. and i was hoping she’d give me some postcolonial diaspora lit and that maybe she’d recommend me for an english program oh well